Friday, August 13, 2010
Dear Reader, Welcome.
Welcome to an adventure in Slipstack Comedy. That great form of comedy that was invented by cavemen that accidentally slipped on a banana peel, and all their caveman friends laughed so much, that they gave extra fruit if he could do it again, (partly rotten, but it was still extra fruit). The funny dufois, as it was pronounced back then in France, dufus to you or me, was able to reproduce the gag the very next moment, and slapstick was born. Made famous by George W. Bush, and Buddy Holly, along with Buster Keaton and Charles Chaplin, this form of comedy remains a stagnant, has-been of the film industry today. As such, here is some vigor for this lost and lonely artform. Please enjoy.
With much fruit,
Daniel P. Ronyak
Screenwriter by Night]
INT. FOX RIVER MALL - JUST OUTSIDE THE ORANGEY DRINK PLACE THAT THEY SAY HAS RAW EGG INGREDIENTS SO YOU SHOULD NEVER DRINK THAT STUFF - DAY
Our Hero Tragic: GUY SLIPSTACK, (say it French-like: Ghee Sleepstock), age 50. The embodiment of "whatever can go wrong, can and will go wrong", he stands six-foot-two, weighs little more than a cabbage patch doll, and wears his hair slicked back and long like an early 20th century rural farmhand gussied up for Friday night at the grange hall dance. He is in all things, Sweet and Salty.
GUY (French Accented English): Hello, I am answering? Hello?
NARRATOR: Guy Slipstack, age 50. Our Hero Tragic. The day, Friday the 13th, may just be icing on the cake, for this very special day. Each day is different in how it arrives and begins its menagerie of pain for Mr. Slipstack and all those he encounters. Today begins and ends lucky. He successfully navigates his way to the second floor balcony of the mall before things really get interesting. But here... it begins.
Guy leans against the balcony rail, flips his phone shut and decides to snap a quick photo but the phone flips out of his hand.
He searches his hand, embarrassed at his foolishness in the presence of a lovely woman standing nearby. Finally he looks down to the first floor where an elderly, balding gentleman rubs his head.