Sunday, December 19, 2010

SlipStack Comedy Chapter Cinco

EXT.  SIDEWALK - GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN - DAY

Guy trips on a crack in the sidewalk, catches himself on an ELDERLY MAN, who then smacks Guy with his cane.
 ELDERLY MAN

Watch it, Guy!

Guy moves back to inspect the crack he trip on, gestures an apology to the old man, then promptly trips on the same crack and knocks over the Elderly man.

The Elderly Man lays on the ground laughing.
Guy slinks away.... into a restaurant...


INT. BELLE'S BBQ RESTAURANT- GREEN BAY, WISCONSIN - DAY




THE LOBBY

Guy pulls a HELP WANTED sign out of the window.


HOSTESS
May I help you? 
 
GUY
Please pardon appearance. I am lost the hat.
 
He shows the BACK of the Help Wanted sign to the Hostess, and points at himself. 
 
She smirks, and Guy checks the sign. He flips it around, over, over again... and displays it to her UPSIDE DOWN. He puts his other arm up to make a muscle. Then strikes another body-builder pose.
 
She shrugs.
 HOSTESS 
Okay.  Follow me.
 
GUY
Ah ha! Yes. Yes.

THE RESTAURANT SEATING AREA
 
Guy follows her through the seating area of the restaurant and sniffs various meals as he walks through.
GUY
(sniffing and speaking together)
Yum! Yum Yum Yum!

He tries again at another table.
 
GUY
(sniffing and speaking together)
Oh, well. Hmm. 

From the Hostess POV, a WAITER moves behind Guy as he leans to sniff yet another table. 
 
Guy leans away in utter disgust, and flings the Waiter's tray, knocking the Waiter OUT COLD.

Guy stands over the Waiter and slaps his face over and over and over, hurriedly trying to wake him. 
 
The OWNER storms in, grabs Guy by the jacket, yelling in Italian.
 
 OWNER
Mama Mia! Italia Ristorante, no no, 
Aye Dios Mio! Arrevadercho!-- No No.
 
The owner thinks twice, takes the apron off the waiter,  and puts it on Guy, then hands him the tray.